The phrase put her away privilyâ comes from Matthew 1:19 in the King James Version of the Bible. It refers to Joseph’s response when he discovered that Mary, his betrothed, was pregnant before their marriage. Rather than exposing her to public shame or punishment, Joseph planned to quietly divorce her.
This phrase holds deep cultural, legal, and spiritual significance. In this topic, we will explore its biblical context, Joseph’s character, Jewish marriage customs, and the lessons we can learn from his response.
The Biblical Context: Matthew 1:19
The full verse reads:
"Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily." (Matthew 1:19, KJV)
Joseph, a righteous man, faced a dilemma. Under Jewish law, a betrothal was legally binding, and Mary’s pregnancy seemed to indicate unfaithfulness. The usual response would have been a public trial or even severe punishment. Yet, Joseph sought a compassionate solution ending the engagement privately.
Understanding Jewish Betrothal and Divorce
1. Betrothal Was Legally Binding
In Jewish culture, betrothal (kiddushin) was more than just an engagement. It was a formal, legal contract, requiring a divorce (get) to dissolve.
2. The Consequences of Perceived Adultery
If a woman was found guilty of infidelity during betrothal, the consequences were severe. According to Deuteronomy 22:23-24, she could be publicly accused and even face the death penalty under Mosaic Law, though by Joseph’s time, divorce was the common response.
3. Joseph’s Options
Joseph had three choices:
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Publicly expose Mary, leading to possible disgrace or punishment.
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Marry her anyway, though this could suggest he condoned perceived sin.
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Quietly divorce her, which is what he planned to do showing both righteousness and mercy.
Why Did Joseph Choose to "Put Her Away Privily"?
1. Joseph Was a Just Man
The Bible calls Joseph "a just man" (Matthew 1:19), meaning he was devoted to God’s law but also compassionate. Rather than act harshly, he sought a way to handle the situation with grace.
2. He Wanted to Protect Mary
Public exposure would have led to shame and potential punishment. Joseph’s decision to handle the matter privately shows his love and kindness.
3. He Did Not Act on Emotion Alone
Joseph likely felt hurt and confused, yet he did not react impulsively. Instead, he considered his options carefully, demonstrating wisdom and self-control.
God’s Intervention: The Angel’s Message
1. Divine Revelation in a Dream
As Joseph wrestled with his decision, an angel appeared to him in a dream:
"Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit." (Matthew 1:20, NIV)
2. Confirmation of Mary’s Innocence
The angel confirmed that Mary had not sinned her pregnancy was a miracle. She was carrying the Messiah, Jesus Christ.
3. Joseph’s Obedience
After the dream, Joseph immediately obeyed God’s command:
"When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife." (Matthew 1:24, NIV)
This shows his faith and willingness to trust God, even in a difficult situation.
Lessons from Joseph’s Decision
1. Righteousness Includes Mercy
Joseph’s response teaches that true righteousness is not just about following laws but also about showing mercy. Like him, we should seek justice with compassion.
2. Avoid Rushed Judgments
Joseph took time to consider his response. We should also pause, pray, and seek wisdom before making major decisions.
3. Trust in God’s Plan
Joseph’s plan changed when he received God’s guidance. Sometimes, what seems like a crisis may be part of a greater divine purpose.
Joseph’s decision to put her away privilyâ was not an act of rejection but of righteousness, mercy, and love. His actions demonstrate a balance between justice and grace, and his obedience to God’s revelation changed history.
His story reminds us to act with wisdom, trust in God’s plans, and extend grace to others, even when facing difficult and confusing situations.